Second anniversary

The 16th December marks the second anniversary of the death of Margot and another year without much being told on this blog. Sadly, this year also brought the death of both the Chows which inspired this blog and thus further marks the end of a story.

Nala died in her sleep one afternoon in May. She was fourteen maybe fifteen years old and was always a real character throughout her life.

Van-Ly died a couple of months later when her kidneys finally gave up after a year or more on a careful diet.

Posted for Margot who could always tell the story so much better than I could,  Nick

Wonderful memory

I have just been given this wonderful photo which was taken at Rémuzat's village fête back at the end of August. Its me on the left, our friend Veronique in the centre, and Margot on the right. It brings back memories of a happy warm summer evening which unfortunately was probably the last time that we were out and about together.    Nick

Margot remembered

Margot was buried on Tuesday, 21st, with many friends and relatives taking part in a simple ceremony to remember her life.  This was followed by an aperitif and then a meal. Everyone has told me how Margot would have enjoyed seeing us all getting together in this way and I feel that it worked out exactly how she would have liked it.

Thanks to my sister and her husband the chows and I passed a peaceful holiday with the family. We even had snow which was a real treat for Nala.

Thanks to all

I am overwhelmed by all the people who have fond memories of Margot and are sending me massages of support. Here at home I also have a constant stream of friends and neighbors who are helping me organize a special send-off for Margot.

The funeral will be at 10:30 Tuesday morning (21st) at the cemetery here in our village of Sahune. Followed by an aperitif and a lunch for family and friends. I am sorry that all of you can not be there but for anyone near enough please come along.

Many people have ask if they can send flowers or make some contribution to a memorial. Margot's wish was that the best memorial she could ask for would be a contribution to a worthy charity (probably cancer research if you are looking for ideas). As you can see by the advertising around this page she was always trying to do something for others and in the last few years she took an active interest in the Livestrong Foundation.

Nick

Moving on

Margot died this evening. I spent the afternoon with her reading the latest cards from the family and listing the people who were thinking of her. I told her not to worry. When I arrived home the hospital called with the news. She wanted to be buried here in our village so tomorrow I will be arranging that.

Love to all our friends,   Nick

Move to home not working

Moving Margot back home is not going to happen at this moment. Our GP is on holiday and she makes up an important part of the home medical team. Even before that the doctors were concerned about providing adequate support. Since the first two days of upheaval Margot has become much more at peace in the hospital / hospice and she took the news calmly however she is not reacting to anything much at this time.

Each day we get less and less reaction from her which I guess is the way it goes. A few days ago she stopped speaking French although she still appears to understand the nurses. Today she hardly said a word. Most of my interaction with her has been by holding hands and touch with naps in between. I keep wondering what else I could be saying or doing.

I have received many e-mails from friends from Margot's various on-line communities offering prayers and messages of support. I am not sure how many of these messages are registering with her but they all mean a great deal to me. Thank you.

Nick

On the move

Margot's uncle made a visit from the States last weekend which was a wonderful thing to do. He is her closest remaining relative and his visit made a big difference for both of us although Margot still managed to sleep through a good part of his time here.

On Tuesday Margot got to move to the hospital in Vaison which is the nearest thing to a hospice that I have seen. She had a very nice room with a view over the old town and a good level of doctors, nursing staff and helpers. Unfortunately the move, the change in conditions, or something made her very agitated and for two days she was not at all calm. Even though I was with her most of the time all she wanted to do was leave and come home. She is much more tranquil today but still wants to be at home. We have been talking with the hospital-at-home people and local nurses and if she remains stable we might be able to have her at home again next week with the option of returning to the hospice if it does not work out.

Again, thank you all for your messages which I try and pass on but Margot is not always tracking 100 percent.    Nick

Visiting in the snow

25cm of snow did not make it any easier for my daily visits to Margot at Valence hospital but I made it.

Not much change in Margot's condition. They are still trying to find the right mixture of drugs to make her comfortable. We have made an application to transfer her to an ward specializing in  palliative care at Vaison but we have to wait for a place as it is only a small unit. Hopefully it would be better for her and nearer for me.

Best to all,   Nick

Update for the week

Last Sunday and Monday nights were uncomfortable for Margot and first thing Tuesday morning she was very ill and taken to a nearby hospital. The edema was the principle problem and she also had some water in her lungs. On Wednesday, after getting her stable, Margot was move to the hospital at Valence which is the center for her treatment. Treatment for the edema continues and she has oxygen and drugs to try and make her more comfortable. As you can imagine, she is extremely weak.

Visiting most days occupies much of my time and I am her preferred masseur for her back and feet.

Best wishes to all from both of us.

Nick

Still secure with Nala on guard

After a bad weekend with the medicines making Margot hyper without making her feel any better she has had a couple of stable days. My brother and sister-in-law have also made a quick visit from Spain which was a very nice interlude.

Now Margot has just gone off to the hospital for the afternoon to have a blood transfusion to help correct her anemia. Nala, of course, is still doing a grand job of sleeping on the threshold so that no ambulance people can go in or out uninterrupted.

Nick 

Bad Night

Margot had a bad night last night and was sick a number of times. It could have been a new medicine she started taking so she was taken off that again to see if things stabilize. So far she has slept all day so that might have been the problem. Other than that, not much change. She is still getting all her food by infusion, lots of proteins, vitamins, everything, but continues to have no strength or energy.

We had sun today for the first time in three days which cheered me and the dogs a little.

Nick

Crazy dog

Margot was home last night but even more weak after the operation and the traveling. During the night Van-Ly decided, for the first time ever, to clime onto the bed and sleep with us. You know chows don't do this. Bad news is that she climbed over Margot. Good news is that she did no damage other than to wake us up.

Nick

New chamber

The operation was postponed yesterday but today Margot had the new chamber and catheter fitted. They are already using it for the hydration infusion. She should be home again tomorrow. More news then.

Nick

No chemotherapy this week

The chemotherapy was canceled this week because Margot just had no energy. We also tried to get the operation for the new catheter moved forward but that did not work out. She is still scheduled for the new chamber and catheter next Tuesday. Eating is still difficult as Margot just has no appetite. She thinks she might have a taste for duck this evening so I will try that. Not a lot of change otherwise.

The dogs have a new walking schedule these days; morning and evening during the hour when the nurse is visiting. This gets us out of the way, especially Nala who insists on sleeping in the doorway to Margot's room as the nurse is trying to go in and out, and there is someone there to keep an eye on Margot while we are out of the house.

Thanks again for everyone's support.

Nick

Wrong date

I my last post I made a mistake with the date. Margot had the infected chamber and catheter removed yesterday. It was a small local operation, all went well, and she was back at home again last night. Her next trip to the hospital is next Tuesday for more chemotherapy.

We've been getting phone calls

We've been getting phone calls because there has been no blog entries this week. Margot has not had the energy and I have not been paying attention is the short answer.

Margot was in hospital last Monday and Tuesday for more chemo. and apart from that her treatment schedule has developed a regular pattern; visits by the nurse early morning, midday, and evening. She is still on the glucose drip full time with other medicines added at various intervals. The infected chamber in her chest is due to be removed on the 22nd and replaced with a new one on the 2nd November.

According to the doctor, Margot's fatigue is due the cancer, the chemo, the infection, and the difficulty in eating enough. This all makes sense to me. I just hope we can get one or more of these conditions corrected in the near future.

Thanks for all your messages and support, love,  Nick and Margot

I'm all right, Jack!

From Hôpital à Domicile

That's Stephanie.  She's pretty underneath.

And, for everyone who asked, no, I'm still not eating.

Best I can do

Home!  Pins & Needes ( Ants in Frech) in fingers.  Write later.
Bob, sorry about cat.
John, I win.  No contest.   :-)~

I was hoping

I was holding off from writing because I was hoping that Margot would be making the posting this weekend but then her return was delayed again at the last minute. Her chemo. was moved from Friday to Monday. Now they say Tuesday for coming home. Fingers crossed.

After four weeks in hospital and not eating much she is very weak. I was pushing her around the hospital grounds in a wheel chair yesterday. I am just hoping that if she can keep increasing the amount of food she is eating and get out and about a bit she will get some strength back. She is really looking forward to being at home and getting her computer back.

Nick

No big change

They are still treating Margot for the infection and so she can't get a lot of food intravenously. She is eating a little more but they are only increasing the quantity slowly and the food is all soft. Just this minute had a phone call from Margot saying she had fish for lunch - that sounds better. We are back to hoping she will be more stable now and can come home next week. The dogs are waiting.