Where Do I Sign Up for the Tour de France?

"You're being doped, Margot!" said my GP, looking at my new prescriptions. "Fine," I said, "I'll become a cyclist."

They're obviously getting better stuff. Two days after my first injection of NeoRecormon I'm still barely able to breathe, much less walk. But I have had a chest x-ray (perfect) an ultrasound on my thyroid (no change) and a tube down my throat (couldn't find anything). And a hearing check (not much worse).

I'm getting an injection to boost my red corpuscles once a week for 6 weeks. We shall see.